146. Shave your legs

“I always shave my legs.”

“What? That’s weird.”

“Why is that?”

“First of all you are a tiger. And second, you can speak.”

"Who looks like this?" 

"Old Comics?"

"True. Good times... good times."

Disregard the above statement. About the leg shaving or not. If you are a guy you probably should not shave your legs unless you are a swimmer, professional wrestler or cyclist and really believe that this could make a difference. But if you are a woman. Well. Shave em’ and be gone.

“But it’s a woman’s right to have hairy legs!” One might say.

“Of course it is, I’m just saying what’s ‘normal’ and that’s to not have hairy legs… spiders has hairy legs.”

“That’s a rude comparison.”

“True. I’m sorry. But you can’t deny that spiders indeed have hairy legs.”

“Indeed.”

LOL.

It’s not that good looking to have hairs point out of your leggings, it’s not that hot. So shave them, you don’t have to wax them, just shave them or something in that perimeter and you’re “normal”. 

Images from here and here. 

145. Have your cell phone on mute/vibration

“Da da di di dobedi do!” [supposed to be like a really annoying cell phone tune… you know the one”

“SHUT THE H*LL UP WITH YOUR GOD DAMN PHONE!”

“Well excuse me sir.”

“No, no I will not.”

"Remember when phones looked like this? And remember when people had them in their backpocket?"

"... no!?"

"Ah....."

Well… people don’t say this. But they should. Why do you think that the vibrator for phones (yeah, not the other ones “you filthy scum”… or should I say “You damn dirty ape!”) were invented? Because you are suppose to use it. On the other hand you could argue that the ring tone was invented because you are suppose to use it as well… but no, we will not go down that road, no sir.

Casual Wi-Fi in pants... I mean, vibration.

Instead of annoying other people with your crap that sounds like a commercial from the sixties you should use the vibration because then you will at least not annoy people so much… but they will probably hate you if you start talking to loud in your phone so be quiet and speak calmly and you will probably be considered “normal”. 

Images from here and here.

144. Scratch your itches

“*scratch* *scratch* *scratch* *scratch*, ahh… that’s better!

 

Ah!

We all have itches sometimes and usually we are not suppose to scratch them because it will heal faster if we don’t, but isn’t it awesome to scratch it?

Animals vs Scratch... 2 - 0

Of course it is! You have to scratch your itches because that’s what people do and then they complain about the scratching and that they never even should have scratch it/them in the first way. Even though that it’s bad… it’s also super so do it sometimes and you are “normal”.

Images from here and here.

143. Use headphones when you listen to music everywhere, yes even at home… maybe not if you live in a house but definitely if you live in an apartment

“Yeah! This tune is awesome! Let’s turn it up!”

“SHUT THE F*CK UP WITH YOU’RE [RANDOM CURSE WORD] MUSIC! I’M TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!”

Get em'!

I hate people that never wear head phones, yup it’s true. You know them, they always have music bombarding out into their home and never even give a though to the other persons living above, below, left or right of them. There actually are people that not enjoy your taste of music. For Christ sake nobody likes all music, even though they might tell you so.

“Oh, I like all kinds of music!”

“Cool, let’s put on some death metal shall we!”

“… do you have something… less, shitty?”

“What!? I thought you said you like all kinds of music?”

“I do… but not the crappy one.”

Nice!

Perhaps your neighbor is cramming before an exam and he has to sleep his eight hours but now he can’t because of your music. Or your music will wake up your neighbors kid that just went to sleep after crying for five hours.

It’s just an example but be sure to show some respect and think what other people may feel about your music. Use head phones… or else. Or else what? Exactly. (Thanks again SP) Then you will be “normal”.  

Images from here and here.

142. Use dental floss some times, not all the time because let’s face it you’ll forget

“Are you aware that you’ve got a forest in between your teeth?”

“Is it supposed to look like that?”

Aaa, aint that cute.

Cons: Dental floss takes time and you are going to cut yourself in the mouth, it can hurt.

Pros: It’s actually kind of fun and it tastes like mint. And yeah, you will probably have a better teeth hygiene with fewer holes/cavities.

Get him!

Don’t you just like the snapping of the thread as I breaks when you pull it towards the weird looking little knife on the package? If you don’t, well… then you should. It’s nice. Floss and you’re “normal”. 

Images from here and here.